The Stay Interview. Don’t wait for the exit.

We’ve gotten pretty good at collecting insights after people leave. Exit interviews, post-mortems, regrets. But what if we didn’t wait until someone resigned to find out what mattered? What if we flipped the script and asked the right questions while people are still here, engaged, and full of potential?

That’s where the stay interview comes in. Not a survey. Not a performance chat. Just a simple, honest conversation that could change how you lead, retain, and engage your people.

Traditional reviews tend to focus on past performance. Engagement surveys give you data points, but rarely nuance. Neither gets to the heart of what someone needs to feel fulfilled, or what might tip them into thinking about leaving. A well-timed stay interview gives you something far more valuable: insight into how someone is really going, what’s keeping them committed, and what might cause them to start looking elsewhere. Done right, it becomes an early warning system and a powerful retention tool.

Because the truth is, most people don’t leave suddenly. They leave slowly, one unmet need at a time. One awkward conversation. One development opportunity passed over. One too many days of feeling stuck. By creating space for honest reflection, you give your people permission to tell you what’s not working , before it’s too late.

And just as importantly, you learn what lights them up. For one person, it might be flexible hours or the autonomy to lead a project. For someone else, it’s being recognised, challenged, or simply asked what they think. Stay interviews give you that window into what actually matters to each individual, because retention isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s personal.

These conversations don’t need to be complex. In fact, the best ones feel more like a coffee catch-up than a formal process. Ask open, curious questions like: “How’s work feeling for you right now?” or “What’s giving you energy lately, and what’s draining it?” You might explore what kind of work feels meaningful, how they like to be recognised, or what they’re hoping to learn next. And yes, you can also ask: “If you were to leave, what would probably trigger that decision?”

The key is to be present and non-defensive. This isn’t a performance review, and it’s not about fixing everything on the spot. It’s about listening, understanding, and following through in a way that builds trust. Because the conversation itself means little without action.

Some needs will be simple to meet, small shifts in workload, role clarity, or recognition that make a big difference. Others will take time. Career development, team dynamics, or deeper structural change. And occasionally, you’ll uncover themes that point to broader issues across the organisation. That’s valuable data. Treat it that way.

What matters most is consistency. Don’t wait until someone is halfway out the door to check in. Make stay conversations a regular rhythm. Train your managers to ask the right questions and genuinely listen. Track the themes that emerge. Celebrate the progress you make. And be transparent when you can’t deliver on something, people don’t expect everything, but they do expect honesty.

When employees feel heard - and when they see that their feedback leads to meaningful change - it creates a ripple effect. Engagement deepens. Loyalty grows. Culture strengthens. These conversations signal that people matter here - not just for what they do, but for who they are.

Retention strategies often default to generic fixes. More perks. More policies. But the organisations that are getting this right are the ones going deeper. They’re having real conversations. They’re noticing the quiet signs. They’re choosing to ask - before it becomes too late.

So don’t wait for the resignation letter. Start with, “How are you feeling about work right now?” and see what opens up.